Dress, Tie, Water, Music, App. & GO

I can not tell a lie..I did NOT want to WOG today, no sire ree!  Why I have no idea.  Well I think it was because I viewed it as this BIG production getting ready, go outside and run blah blah blah.  So I wasn't gonna do it.  Sure I felt bad about it but I am so use to feeling about about not doing it that I knew the sting would wear off in a bit. 

SO, the house is quiet and I go out in the garage to find my Prince Charmin setting in the garage with a glass of wine at his side, relaxing, watching the sprinklers in our yard and enjoying the outside.  I looked over and saw our daughter teaching herself how to roller blade via youtube.

I went inside and thought ok they are out there enjoying themselves I need do something too..."do I wanna WOG"  .... NO but "Should I WOG"..... YES! 
When things get overwhelming what should I do?  As mom would tell me, "Put your big girl panties on and take one step at time."  SO I did the first step.

I got dressed (big girl panties and all)
a few minutes later I put on my shoes and tied them up
a  bit later got water
finally went out with Ava and hit the Music, run app and hit GO....

I did it!  I was able to do my WOG and sweat ALOT.  I felt great hayway thru it and that was big change from Last WOG I did.

After an ice cold shower I told myself that tomorrow I will get dressed (to run) and just leave it at that....one thing will lead to another and I will WOG again tomorrow...Or will I :)

Keep WOG'in

Melissa

2.23 miles
3 Incline
34.27 minutes
8pm

Slowly....

OK so the next day after this "Starting over" I did exactly what I did not wanna do...I avoided time with "Ava" (my treadmill more on that later).  This made me feel... you know as it normally does.

The next day (yesterday)  I did what I thought I wouldn't to I WENT with AVA and WOG (walk/jog) 2 miles.  Again I know it is nothing much but its MUCH more than I had down the day before. 

Today my plan is to have some Ava time this evening. 

I do feel better today knowing that yesterday I did something.  I hope this motivates me to go out and WOG tonight.

OK the Ava thing.  Well mos. ago I had thought that perhaps by me naming my dear trusty treadmill this would help me when planning a "Date with Ava" on my calander.  This way I would see it as making a date with a person and would make me think twice about cancelling on "her".  OK so it sounds lame but it worked for a while.  So I find that when I write "Ava" time on my calander I actually follow through with the allotted time set aside.  Hey whatever it take right?

Till Next time
Melissa
7/9/13
2.02 Miles
3 incline
34.25 mins
Ava Time

How Many is too many?

OK so we have heard those old sayings like
"I'm turning over a new leaf"
"Today is a NEW start" or
"Every journey begins with one step"
But what about when that tree runs out of leaves? Or the thought of yet ANOTHER new start is to over whelming to bare or you are taking this same journey for the 100th time and you frankly tired of the same scenery and you never make it past a certain point.
How many "new" starts are TOO many?  how many times can you say whelp her I go again with out others, more importantly yourself, loosing faith in you?  When that faith in your success is lacking or gone then what?  Where do you get the gumption to start over..AGAIN?

This is where I am with my weight/health journey.  I started this blog to have a sort of a point of accountability however hard or embarrassing it was going to be I really thought that it would help.

it did for a minute but regardless of my best intentions I have always stopped for one reason or other with my health and fitness regimes. 

I have had a personal trainer, Money has run out.

I have gone with others to work out, we are either at different levels of our own health or we would allow each other to back out from work out day.

I have tried home videos, I do good for a while then get bored bcs i really need to be around others

I was part of a run group that met early mornings and i was doing great, then i missed due to illness and by the time I was ready the leader was off on maternity leave and it is yet to pick up again.

I am 37 and my healthy click is ticking ticking away...I know I need to get better for my kids, my own health for me but for some reason I can never keep to it.

I heard one time on some Oprah or Dr. Phil show years back that a "big" girl was in my same boat and that she was secretly Scared to lose the weight bcs she identified with that person a "Fat Person"  her friends knew here that way and she didn't recall what it was like to be "thin/healthy" and she was scared that others would not like her anymore.  She made herself the butt of jokes and people laughed and that was what she felt like ...comic relief.  Is that what I am doing?  I joke and tell people that "God made me fat bcs he and I both know I would love my healthy body so much i would dress like a HOE for real!"  So my punishment is being fat.  Look I told ya in the beginning this was not gonna be pretty but these are my thoughts.  i know I am fat BCS OF ME and my bad food choices blah blah blah.

I was at one time all growing up in great shape.  After my first child at 20 I was able to get my body back...over the years and having a second marriage and 2 more kids I have let it all go.  I have mos of doing great and then BAM i hit a wall for whatever reason and I am down for the count.

I got on the treadmill today and it felt great...the last 10 mins of the jog I was almost in tears bcs i felt an overwhelming FEAR come over me...Fear that tomorrow i would find a reason to not get back on that treadmill and do what i needed to.  I was fearful of letting myself down yet again.

So how many start overs is too many?  could this be a NEW start for me or is it just another set up for failure? 

Till tomorrow I will keep my fingers and laces crossed!

One step in the right direction

Well today is the day Hannah Belle and I were suppose to do Day 2 of Week 1 with C25K but at 4:30am when the phone rang I was half out of it.  My oldest son was sleeping with me bcs he is sick and he didn't sleep well the night before aka MAMA did not sleep well.  We passed for the day and we will try again later. 

I woke up about 8 am and the first thing I did was to get with Ava and redo day 1 week 1 of the challenge.  I felt great...AFTERWARDS.  Again in all honesty I was hating it as i ran BUT i had to push thru it, and I did I pushed hard! 

Afterwards I went on a spur of the moment shopping day with my mom.  I had a ton of energy till about noon and crashed hard.  I did what my gal SH would gasp about, I had a Monster Evil drink!  I HAD TO! 

It helped for a bit, I have something else up my sleeve for a later time but I will share...at a later time lol.

So tomorrow hold what exactly?  Like others I don't know but it will be fun finding out.

Till then Keep runnin

MRW

Review and a New start

Well as above mentioned hitting the Refresh button on my health AGAIN.....I know right?  But hey for every day that we have along with it comes the right to do just that...Hit Refresh

So there are 3 people I work out with.  Ava (my treadmill), JT (my bestie) and Hannah Belle.  I work out with each as time allows.  Ava is the name of my treadmill.  The way I see it is that if I can think of my treadmill as a friend and write in appointed dates to work out it would make it harder to "cancel" on her heeee heee so far so good. She is only a LITTLE mad at me for standing her up! LOL

Well This week (Monday) Hannah Belle and I started the C25K training on our iphones only one day in and I loved it.  The "guide" comes on every so many seconds and tells you when to run or when to walk.  I love that.  I was actually about to complete 2.25 miles with no music and that is a big deal for me.  I love having music and get so much motivation from it.  But this time I opted to go without and I loved it. 

If I am not mistaken it is a 3 day a week plan that takes 6-8 weeks to complete.  Not too bad. I would love to get to a point where I can walk,jog or run 6 days a week.  I was doing very good at that a while back but then fell off the wagon!  That was then and this is now lets see how it goes this time.

Well tomorrow I will be at it again.  I hope this is the start of something new! 

C Ya later

Update...

What really is there to say? My roller coaster ride has gone on and on. 

I had a time of running in the early AM with a group called Hell on Heels.  It's a local run/walk/jog group that was started by an awesome lady who lost allot of weight by walking and eventually running.  They met 6 days a week and for a while I joined and loved it!  THEN school started for the kids and BAM BLIB Pow it was over for me, I could no longer get up in the AM's and go run.  I was tired all the time and eventually got depressed about it all. 
Now I am doing a month long Squat-a-thon and I really like it.  My friend hooked me up to this cool lady who has a blog and i found this months challenge on her blog.  everyday you do squats ranging from 20 - 95 that simple that easy.
It is a start and that for now is all I can manage.  So lets see what is around the next bend

3/19/12~ I can not tell a lie

To anyone:
I have been working alot of extra hours at work (last week) bcs of call ins and one leaving, so I did not get to spend time with Ava since Thursday last week.  Remember how i told you I felt this awesome "runners high" after my work outs and I wasn't going to ask myself "When will this end"  Well at 5:05pm on Friday I left and quick as a flash!  It was a dramatic change.  So I decided to rest for the week-end. 

Well I did not have the desire to get with Ava yesterday or today (Hey I Can not tell a lie).  Yet as i scrolled thru my Facebook posts I see again my girl Marta who posted about her work out calling it "Short and sweet"  and those 3 little words resonated with me.  Short and sweet...I mean for me at this stage what really is 35 mins out of my night? And sweet is the feeling of sweating out all my toxic thoughts and worries as well as the high of running!  That would be enough to last me till tomorrows date!  lol and if not then I will read my Friends FB posts again and perhaps Shannon R., Marta, Stacie or Shanon J will post something and it will encourage me to get up and try again!  I mean hey my friends have gotten me this far!  I love ya for it girls!

I have to be honest with myself.  There will be days i am either sick or unable to walk/run with Ava and then there will be days that i just don't want too!  Those are the days i need to work on myself about.  I will not feel bad about the other days.  I need to do what is healthy and right for ME.  For now I will work on that.  Later on to bigger fish!  Till then...

Keep runnin
Melissa aka The Coupon Traveler



Today:
Walk/run with Ava
35 mins
276 calories
1.82 miles
incline 2-3
Speed 3.5-4.4
Goal weight loss 67 YES I Said it 67lbs i need to lose to be in my healthy range

3/16/12 ~ Roll Call

Hey there ...If yoiu are following this blog please check in with me adn let me know you are still there.  How are you doing in your fitness and health today?

3/15/12 WHO AM I???

That is the question I have been asking myself since my 1st walk with Ava this week.
1. I read some posts and status updates on FB and I got up, got dressed and got to running w/ Ava (my treadmill) for the first time in a long time.
2. I made a "Date" with Ava, wrote them down and told my husband so i could have an accountability partner
3. I agreed to work a double shift the next day at work (930a - 930p) at a moments notice with now frustrations at all about it bcs....I WAS in a GREAT mood and had a ton of energy!
3. I knew I was able to keep my fitness date with Ava that night as planned bcs of this ...SO i did what any person would do I slipped back into my ways and went to bed at 3AM!
4. I woke up before the alarm (730) talked with the hubby and WAS going to go back to sleep, after all i don't have to be at work till1pm today...
5. Jumped out of bed by 745am got dressed and hurried to Ava...I was AWAKE and feeling good so why not make my date with her early today

YEAH so who the heck am I?  Will this last forever?  Will i see results soon?  AND..............The questions in my mind are endless and I have come to find that THIS above all else is one of my downfalls.  I am trying to accept the fact that every question does not HAVE to HAVE and answer.  WHAT WHAT?  I know huh pretty cool.  I know that these euphoric feels may come the may go but job..scratch that my JOY is to soak it in a record this feeling in my memory banks so that if the time comes that i feel down on myself i can pull from this day the JOY and health I felt!

So these are my thoughts today!  Yes to lose 67 lbs is ALOT but I eat ALOT to get here it only makes sense that I will have to go THUR ALOT to lose it and I am OK with that. 

Heck what i will be losing is fatigue, tiredness, irritation, low self esteem, the feeling of never accomplishing my goal in fitness, double digits in my clothing, the frustration of looking in the mirror of the dressing room and crying bcs nothing fits and if it does it has no fashion to it bcs after all who can make a trash bag look good? (Maybe the peeps on Project runway but hell this is real life)

What I will gain is health, longer life, fun active play days with the kids, more energy, better sleep, a better outlook on myself, healthier eating habits, more money (Hey no eating out all the time), to be able to set a great example for the kids, to enjoy the warmness of a good hug from my hubby (instead of feeling like I am a whale being hugged by a man).  Better fitting clothes and soooo much more!

So yeah I think I am ready to take on today!  I will take one day at a time.  I am 36 years old and I finally understand what that really feels like and I can relate now to those who have had to cling to that motto.  I am trying to break my FOOD ADDICTION and this is a step in the right direction!

Keep Runnin

Today:
Walk/run with Ava
30 mins
280 calories
1.76 miles
incline 4-6
Speed 3.5-4.5
Goal wieght loss 67 YES I Said it 67lbs i need to lose to be in my healthy range

3/13/12 Who said the road would be easy?

Well well well here I am again, at the begining of a do over.  I ask my self "Why do u keep finding yourself here time and time again?"  I get down on myself and just give up on running, walking, 5k's, working out with friends ...i give up on me. 

I love Facebook bcs u can peak into others life even if just for a moment.  What I saw on FB today tho was different bcs it motivated me to actually get off my bum and get on my treadmill who i loving call AVA....Hey whatever works huh?

I have been reading posts from friends who have no idea they are inspiring me each time i read the post of them running or going to the gym.  Each are in my age range, each have 3 kids as i do, each are busy mothers in thier own rights...so what makes them different than me?  Why do they do what i wanna do?  The difference is they are not sitting around asking why me?  Why am i so fat that i hate myself?  I am.  They do what the do bcs they have taken responsibilities for thier actions and have choose to amke differnt choices in thier activities and diet. 

So I asked myself today as I read thier awesome posts of running and working out?  Why cant I do this?  The answer has been the same all along YOU CAN DO THIS the question is ARE you gonna do this?  So today I chose a DIFFERNT answer.  I chose YES.

So i got up, got dressed, set up my laptop next to Ava with music, and downloaded a free app that one of the gals had on her droid...And off i went!  I sweated like i have not in a long time.  I told myself that even tho i had 30 mins on the timer I would only do 1 mile and then stop.  ONCE i did get a mile and see the time i had i said "NOPE you keep on going!"  and I did.  I feel great and i am proud of my self.

I can say that no matter how many times i sstart over again and again I will make it further and further each time.  Its not how many times you START its how many times you finish!

HUGE thanks to all of you who post on your face book walls the running, walking, cardio classes, the zumba classes or any other activity you do bcs it does help other people like ME who need that push.  PLEASE feel free to tag me in those posts at: thecoupontraveler (Meissa Wheeler)  on facebook.

THANK YOU to Marta Stahl and Stacie Bogema for being my get up and go ladies.  I love you both

Today:
Walk/run with Ava
30 mins
226 calories
1.67 miles
incline 2-4
Goal wieght loss 67 YES I Said it 67lbs i need to lose to be in my healthy range.