To anyone:
I have been working alot of extra hours at work (last week) bcs of call ins and one leaving, so I did not get to spend time with Ava since Thursday last week. Remember how i told you I felt this awesome "runners high" after my work outs and I wasn't going to ask myself "When will this end" Well at 5:05pm on Friday I left and quick as a flash! It was a dramatic change. So I decided to rest for the week-end.
Well I did not have the desire to get with Ava yesterday or today (Hey I Can not tell a lie). Yet as i scrolled thru my Facebook posts I see again my girl Marta who posted about her work out calling it "Short and sweet" and those 3 little words resonated with me. Short and sweet...I mean for me at this stage what really is 35 mins out of my night? And sweet is the feeling of sweating out all my toxic thoughts and worries as well as the high of running! That would be enough to last me till tomorrows date! lol and if not then I will read my Friends FB posts again and perhaps Shannon R., Marta, Stacie or Shanon J will post something and it will encourage me to get up and try again! I mean hey my friends have gotten me this far! I love ya for it girls!
I have to be honest with myself. There will be days i am either sick or unable to walk/run with Ava and then there will be days that i just don't want too! Those are the days i need to work on myself about. I will not feel bad about the other days. I need to do what is healthy and right for ME. For now I will work on that. Later on to bigger fish! Till then...
Keep runnin
Melissa aka The Coupon Traveler
Today:
Walk/run with Ava
35 mins
276 calories
1.82 miles
incline 2-3
Speed 3.5-4.4
Goal weight loss 67 YES I Said it 67lbs i
need to lose to be in my healthy range
Monday, March 19, 2012
Friday, March 16, 2012
3/16/12 ~ Roll Call
Hey there ...If yoiu are following this blog please check in with me adn let me know you are still there. How are you doing in your fitness and health today?
Thursday, March 15, 2012
3/15/12 WHO AM I???
That is the question I have been asking myself since my 1st walk with Ava this week.
1. I read some posts and status updates on FB and I got up, got dressed and got to running w/ Ava (my treadmill) for the first time in a long time.
2. I made a "Date" with Ava, wrote them down and told my husband so i could have an accountability partner
3. I agreed to work a double shift the next day at work (930a - 930p) at a moments notice with now frustrations at all about it bcs....I WAS in a GREAT mood and had a ton of energy!
3. I knew I was able to keep my fitness date with Ava that night as planned bcs of this ...SO i did what any person would do I slipped back into my ways and went to bed at 3AM!
4. I woke up before the alarm (730) talked with the hubby and WAS going to go back to sleep, after all i don't have to be at work till1pm today...
5. Jumped out of bed by 745am got dressed and hurried to Ava...I was AWAKE and feeling good so why not make my date with her early today
YEAH so who the heck am I? Will this last forever? Will i see results soon? AND..............The questions in my mind are endless and I have come to find that THIS above all else is one of my downfalls. I am trying to accept the fact that every question does not HAVE to HAVE and answer. WHAT WHAT? I know huh pretty cool. I know that these euphoric feels may come the may go but job..scratch that my JOY is to soak it in a record this feeling in my memory banks so that if the time comes that i feel down on myself i can pull from this day the JOY and health I felt!
So these are my thoughts today! Yes to lose 67 lbs is ALOT but I eat ALOT to get here it only makes sense that I will have to go THUR ALOT to lose it and I am OK with that.
Heck what i will be losing is fatigue, tiredness, irritation, low self esteem, the feeling of never accomplishing my goal in fitness, double digits in my clothing, the frustration of looking in the mirror of the dressing room and crying bcs nothing fits and if it does it has no fashion to it bcs after all who can make a trash bag look good? (Maybe the peeps on Project runway but hell this is real life)
What I will gain is health, longer life, fun active play days with the kids, more energy, better sleep, a better outlook on myself, healthier eating habits, more money (Hey no eating out all the time), to be able to set a great example for the kids, to enjoy the warmness of a good hug from my hubby (instead of feeling like I am a whale being hugged by a man). Better fitting clothes and soooo much more!
So yeah I think I am ready to take on today! I will take one day at a time. I am 36 years old and I finally understand what that really feels like and I can relate now to those who have had to cling to that motto. I am trying to break my FOOD ADDICTION and this is a step in the right direction!
Keep Runnin
Today:
Walk/run with Ava
30 mins
280 calories
1.76 miles
incline 4-6
Speed 3.5-4.5
Goal wieght loss 67 YES I Said it 67lbs i need to lose to be in my healthy range
1. I read some posts and status updates on FB and I got up, got dressed and got to running w/ Ava (my treadmill) for the first time in a long time.
2. I made a "Date" with Ava, wrote them down and told my husband so i could have an accountability partner
3. I agreed to work a double shift the next day at work (930a - 930p) at a moments notice with now frustrations at all about it bcs....I WAS in a GREAT mood and had a ton of energy!
3. I knew I was able to keep my fitness date with Ava that night as planned bcs of this ...SO i did what any person would do I slipped back into my ways and went to bed at 3AM!
4. I woke up before the alarm (730) talked with the hubby and WAS going to go back to sleep, after all i don't have to be at work till1pm today...
5. Jumped out of bed by 745am got dressed and hurried to Ava...I was AWAKE and feeling good so why not make my date with her early today
YEAH so who the heck am I? Will this last forever? Will i see results soon? AND..............The questions in my mind are endless and I have come to find that THIS above all else is one of my downfalls. I am trying to accept the fact that every question does not HAVE to HAVE and answer. WHAT WHAT? I know huh pretty cool. I know that these euphoric feels may come the may go but job..scratch that my JOY is to soak it in a record this feeling in my memory banks so that if the time comes that i feel down on myself i can pull from this day the JOY and health I felt!
So these are my thoughts today! Yes to lose 67 lbs is ALOT but I eat ALOT to get here it only makes sense that I will have to go THUR ALOT to lose it and I am OK with that.
Heck what i will be losing is fatigue, tiredness, irritation, low self esteem, the feeling of never accomplishing my goal in fitness, double digits in my clothing, the frustration of looking in the mirror of the dressing room and crying bcs nothing fits and if it does it has no fashion to it bcs after all who can make a trash bag look good? (Maybe the peeps on Project runway but hell this is real life)
What I will gain is health, longer life, fun active play days with the kids, more energy, better sleep, a better outlook on myself, healthier eating habits, more money (Hey no eating out all the time), to be able to set a great example for the kids, to enjoy the warmness of a good hug from my hubby (instead of feeling like I am a whale being hugged by a man). Better fitting clothes and soooo much more!
So yeah I think I am ready to take on today! I will take one day at a time. I am 36 years old and I finally understand what that really feels like and I can relate now to those who have had to cling to that motto. I am trying to break my FOOD ADDICTION and this is a step in the right direction!
Keep Runnin
Today:
Walk/run with Ava
30 mins
280 calories
1.76 miles
incline 4-6
Speed 3.5-4.5
Goal wieght loss 67 YES I Said it 67lbs i need to lose to be in my healthy range
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
3/13/12 Who said the road would be easy?
Well well well here I am again, at the begining of a do over. I ask my self "Why do u keep finding yourself here time and time again?" I get down on myself and just give up on running, walking, 5k's, working out with friends ...i give up on me.
I love Facebook bcs u can peak into others life even if just for a moment. What I saw on FB today tho was different bcs it motivated me to actually get off my bum and get on my treadmill who i loving call AVA....Hey whatever works huh?
I have been reading posts from friends who have no idea they are inspiring me each time i read the post of them running or going to the gym. Each are in my age range, each have 3 kids as i do, each are busy mothers in thier own rights...so what makes them different than me? Why do they do what i wanna do? The difference is they are not sitting around asking why me? Why am i so fat that i hate myself? I am. They do what the do bcs they have taken responsibilities for thier actions and have choose to amke differnt choices in thier activities and diet.
So I asked myself today as I read thier awesome posts of running and working out? Why cant I do this? The answer has been the same all along YOU CAN DO THIS the question is ARE you gonna do this? So today I chose a DIFFERNT answer. I chose YES.
So i got up, got dressed, set up my laptop next to Ava with music, and downloaded a free app that one of the gals had on her droid...And off i went! I sweated like i have not in a long time. I told myself that even tho i had 30 mins on the timer I would only do 1 mile and then stop. ONCE i did get a mile and see the time i had i said "NOPE you keep on going!" and I did. I feel great and i am proud of my self.
I can say that no matter how many times i sstart over again and again I will make it further and further each time. Its not how many times you START its how many times you finish!
HUGE thanks to all of you who post on your face book walls the running, walking, cardio classes, the zumba classes or any other activity you do bcs it does help other people like ME who need that push. PLEASE feel free to tag me in those posts at: thecoupontraveler (Meissa Wheeler) on facebook.
THANK YOU to Marta Stahl and Stacie Bogema for being my get up and go ladies. I love you both
Today:
Walk/run with Ava
30 mins
226 calories
1.67 miles
incline 2-4
Goal wieght loss 67 YES I Said it 67lbs i need to lose to be in my healthy range.
I love Facebook bcs u can peak into others life even if just for a moment. What I saw on FB today tho was different bcs it motivated me to actually get off my bum and get on my treadmill who i loving call AVA....Hey whatever works huh?
I have been reading posts from friends who have no idea they are inspiring me each time i read the post of them running or going to the gym. Each are in my age range, each have 3 kids as i do, each are busy mothers in thier own rights...so what makes them different than me? Why do they do what i wanna do? The difference is they are not sitting around asking why me? Why am i so fat that i hate myself? I am. They do what the do bcs they have taken responsibilities for thier actions and have choose to amke differnt choices in thier activities and diet.
So I asked myself today as I read thier awesome posts of running and working out? Why cant I do this? The answer has been the same all along YOU CAN DO THIS the question is ARE you gonna do this? So today I chose a DIFFERNT answer. I chose YES.
So i got up, got dressed, set up my laptop next to Ava with music, and downloaded a free app that one of the gals had on her droid...And off i went! I sweated like i have not in a long time. I told myself that even tho i had 30 mins on the timer I would only do 1 mile and then stop. ONCE i did get a mile and see the time i had i said "NOPE you keep on going!" and I did. I feel great and i am proud of my self.
I can say that no matter how many times i sstart over again and again I will make it further and further each time. Its not how many times you START its how many times you finish!
HUGE thanks to all of you who post on your face book walls the running, walking, cardio classes, the zumba classes or any other activity you do bcs it does help other people like ME who need that push. PLEASE feel free to tag me in those posts at: thecoupontraveler (Meissa Wheeler) on facebook.
THANK YOU to Marta Stahl and Stacie Bogema for being my get up and go ladies. I love you both
Today:
Walk/run with Ava
30 mins
226 calories
1.67 miles
incline 2-4
Goal wieght loss 67 YES I Said it 67lbs i need to lose to be in my healthy range.
Friday, February 18, 2011
2/18/11~Call it a Come back?
I'm Baaaaaaaack, I think. Long time no blog, run, walk or even being active. UGHH. It's been so stinkin long since I have been in this areana I have no stinin idea where to start. So I will take a moment to tell you where I have been since late 2010....
I have been Running..NO not "Runnin" but runnING as in running from my fears of starting this workout routine again (Since I went to the doc and got everything checked out), the fear of NOT being able to lose the wieght I have been wanting to lose for so long, fear of never being able to keep off the 15 lbs i lost from my Detox in Oct 2010...Running from all the YUCK that drug me down. I was overwieght, depressed and really having a hard time dealing with things. There was another runnING i was doing....runnING to the frig. Anytime I would get overwhelmed, sick, sad, desperate for change straight to ol'Silver I would go (lol the color of our frig).
As of late I have been seeing so many of my peeps get up & go. To be honest at 1st I hated to see the posts "Worked out today it was great" "Man feelin great after I worked my body till i couldnt anymore" "Boot Camp was Da Bomb" ...all those things I use to say & post others were out doing it....It SUCKED to see myself sitting behind the computer and just READING about it.
Even tho i was happy for them I cold not help but feel sorry for myself. Heck the craziest thing is that I THOUGHT about runnin on that treadmill 24/7..I was obsessed! I would actually visualize me getting up, getting dressed, putting on my ipod and gage, stepping on the treadmill, warming up, walking, runnin, cooling down, getting off and then coming inside to take a drink, tae a shower and chill! SERIOUSLY that alone took me 20 mins to really think thru so why the heck did I not get off my big butt and do it?
Well I was and still am SCARED and LAZY the ladder being the main of the 2.
I dont know exactly why tho bcs i did this in 2009 and some of 2010 with a passion.
Well reading the posts from my friends & mentors..Niki M., Shannan R. , Stacie B & Katie R. really got me itchin to wanna start again. So Lastnight after some email back and forth to one of them i thought "Hell I can do this again...REALLY its time to get off my hind side and just do it!"
So first thing this morning I got up and .....PUT IT OFF. I mean I just wasnt feelin it ya know. So I did what any normal rational person would do..I went to Wal-mart and bought a box of twinkies and a Dr. pepper...FOR real...I promised the good the bad and the ugly with this blog at ALL times! So after eating more than I can remember of the twinkies After lunch I stood up walked to the Garage opened the door and slammed it shut....I put it off again. Then about what 6pm tonight I got up ran to the room got dressed in a flash scrambled for my Ipod and ran to the garage and jumped on before i could say anything to myself.
So after a half mile, 1 mile, 1.5 mile, 2miles i felt great. i had a rythem i was feelin great and seatin up a storm. It was stinkin AWESOME!
So to my mentors Niki, Shannan, Stacie & Katie thank you...know it or not you have helped to motivate me and get me off my rump!
Till tomorrow when we will see what happens!
Melissa
I have been Running..NO not "Runnin" but runnING as in running from my fears of starting this workout routine again (Since I went to the doc and got everything checked out), the fear of NOT being able to lose the wieght I have been wanting to lose for so long, fear of never being able to keep off the 15 lbs i lost from my Detox in Oct 2010...Running from all the YUCK that drug me down. I was overwieght, depressed and really having a hard time dealing with things. There was another runnING i was doing....runnING to the frig. Anytime I would get overwhelmed, sick, sad, desperate for change straight to ol'Silver I would go (lol the color of our frig).
As of late I have been seeing so many of my peeps get up & go. To be honest at 1st I hated to see the posts "Worked out today it was great" "Man feelin great after I worked my body till i couldnt anymore" "Boot Camp was Da Bomb" ...all those things I use to say & post others were out doing it....It SUCKED to see myself sitting behind the computer and just READING about it.
Even tho i was happy for them I cold not help but feel sorry for myself. Heck the craziest thing is that I THOUGHT about runnin on that treadmill 24/7..I was obsessed! I would actually visualize me getting up, getting dressed, putting on my ipod and gage, stepping on the treadmill, warming up, walking, runnin, cooling down, getting off and then coming inside to take a drink, tae a shower and chill! SERIOUSLY that alone took me 20 mins to really think thru so why the heck did I not get off my big butt and do it?
Well I was and still am SCARED and LAZY the ladder being the main of the 2.
I dont know exactly why tho bcs i did this in 2009 and some of 2010 with a passion.
Well reading the posts from my friends & mentors..Niki M., Shannan R. , Stacie B & Katie R. really got me itchin to wanna start again. So Lastnight after some email back and forth to one of them i thought "Hell I can do this again...REALLY its time to get off my hind side and just do it!"
So first thing this morning I got up and .....PUT IT OFF. I mean I just wasnt feelin it ya know. So I did what any normal rational person would do..I went to Wal-mart and bought a box of twinkies and a Dr. pepper...FOR real...I promised the good the bad and the ugly with this blog at ALL times! So after eating more than I can remember of the twinkies After lunch I stood up walked to the Garage opened the door and slammed it shut....I put it off again. Then about what 6pm tonight I got up ran to the room got dressed in a flash scrambled for my Ipod and ran to the garage and jumped on before i could say anything to myself.
So after a half mile, 1 mile, 1.5 mile, 2miles i felt great. i had a rythem i was feelin great and seatin up a storm. It was stinkin AWESOME!
So to my mentors Niki, Shannan, Stacie & Katie thank you...know it or not you have helped to motivate me and get me off my rump!
Till tomorrow when we will see what happens!
Melissa
Thursday, October 14, 2010
10/14/10 Detox
Ok so when YOU hear that word what do you think of?
For me I always associated it with a drug addict going thru a very tough and agonizing fight with their drug or drink of choice. Well I am going through detox of another kind..Or is it? I mean what I struggle with is food...the love of it and the sweet temptation of it how can that possibly be a drug or addiction?
http://www.dictionary.com/ puts it this way ~
ad·dic·tion – noun
the state of being enslaved to a habit or practice or to something that is psychologically or physically habit-forming, as narcotics, to such an extent that its cessation causes severe trauma.
Well when you see it that way I could safely say them that my "drug" of choice is FOOD and I could get away with abusing it because
A) You NEED it to live
B) It is cheap and easy to access
C) Until recently society has turned a blind eye to the "abuse of" food
I started thinking weeks back that I may very nearly "Die" if I had to go thru this detox, however I knew that with my medical history.. I HAD to do it or I would very seriously die bcs of complications of being overweight or develop adult onset diabetes.....
So with a couple of weeks before the detox I started doing what any person addicted to a substance would do...
I began to pray then I began to SPLURGED everyday and ate everything i could...right up until MIDNIGHT the day before the detox was to start.
I went to McDonalds and ordered my favorite meal fish-filet with no tarter and fries with my DP. I even told the chic..."Listen this is the last great meal I am gonna have please make the fries fresh and get the order right" NO LIE she probably thought I was a prisoner having his last meal.
I sat there and enjoyed every evil bite.
With this detox we are to avoid any MEAT, processed foods, sugars, flour, bread, pasta, rices (except brown rice) adn dairy after teh first day, tomatoes and any citrus fruits & caffine for 10 days! Let me start by saying I started by HATING the thought of Brown rice...man i was wrong i bought a particular kind and will never try any other..I love it
Day 1 of Detox:
Began and I must say I was nervous and had butterflies in my stomach all morning. But it turned out to be ok except for the fact that the "Protein" Shake I had to drink was like ...well i will spare you the details let's just say it a drink of it went down and right back up....
I was able to have a little dairy that day and i had all of it I was able to and enjoyed it. Things I took for granted I was enjoying. Like 4 oz of my cottage cheese in a cup ...it was the best 4 oz of food I had ever had! I enjoyed it sooooo much more than I ever had in my life. The slice of cheese I had I cut it up into 10 little pieces and those were by far the best 10 lil pieces of heaven I have ever had! I had a great Lentil soup recipe that night...it was rich and full of flavor. Tae (our youngest) even like it. I DID have a headache in the evening, went ot bed early.
Day 2 of Detox:
Nervous bcs my dairy would now be gone and now I was in full out Vegetarian world and frankly that freaked me out. On this day my mom had to come and coach me in drinking this Protein shake. It was truly a pathetic sight. Here I am a grown woman of 3 and I was there in front of my mom pinching my nose breathing out and tryin to gulp down this junk and it was awful. I almost lost it but had to keep with it. 80z never seemed so overwhelming in all my life. Got thru it but with no grace!
Day of eating was good and I came across an awesome new dinner suggestion..Brwon rice, sautéed mixed veggies and salad YUMMMMM. I DID have a headache in the evening, went ot bed early.
Day 3 of Detox:
No worries no concerns....all is well. I have not taken the yunk drink since day 2 and probably wont. I am doing great and feel awesome. On this day i remember the joys of JUCING. I make me and the kids a homemade fruit juice full of any and every fruit adn veggie we want. When I drink this in the AM I can get through for a while on this. So this day i kept my self busy and productive. i did notice a hieghtened since of smell. for example my mom had given my son a small baggie of baked crackers and a small sandwhich...I could smell the cheese on the cracker, the colby jack on the sandwich even the MAYO on the bread. it was so intense (in a good way). I also on this day notice and intense sense of taste. Strawberries tasted juicer & sweeter. Grapes tasted fleshier and intense with sweetness. So needless to say that when it came time for me to have my salad with lettuce, almonds, sunflowerseeds, cucumber, red bell pepper, celery, carrots, avacado & celantro they was no need for dressign bcs those flovors were so intense it was devine! No heachache that night.
Day 4 of Detox:
Well I feel so much less bloated, more focused, a sense of calmness and food wise i feel satisfied. now days 5,6, & 7 will be the hardest ones bcs on those days my brown rice and any beans are out so it is really only fruits and veggies so plesae pray for me!
So thanks for reading and i welcome any comments.
Mel
For me I always associated it with a drug addict going thru a very tough and agonizing fight with their drug or drink of choice. Well I am going through detox of another kind..Or is it? I mean what I struggle with is food...the love of it and the sweet temptation of it how can that possibly be a drug or addiction?
http://www.dictionary.com/ puts it this way ~
ad·dic·tion – noun
the state of being enslaved to a habit or practice or to something that is psychologically or physically habit-forming, as narcotics, to such an extent that its cessation causes severe trauma.
Well when you see it that way I could safely say them that my "drug" of choice is FOOD and I could get away with abusing it because
A) You NEED it to live
B) It is cheap and easy to access
C) Until recently society has turned a blind eye to the "abuse of" food
I started thinking weeks back that I may very nearly "Die" if I had to go thru this detox, however I knew that with my medical history.. I HAD to do it or I would very seriously die bcs of complications of being overweight or develop adult onset diabetes.....
So with a couple of weeks before the detox I started doing what any person addicted to a substance would do...
I began to pray then I began to SPLURGED everyday and ate everything i could...right up until MIDNIGHT the day before the detox was to start.
I went to McDonalds and ordered my favorite meal fish-filet with no tarter and fries with my DP. I even told the chic..."Listen this is the last great meal I am gonna have please make the fries fresh and get the order right" NO LIE she probably thought I was a prisoner having his last meal.
I sat there and enjoyed every evil bite.
With this detox we are to avoid any MEAT, processed foods, sugars, flour, bread, pasta, rices (except brown rice) adn dairy after teh first day, tomatoes and any citrus fruits & caffine for 10 days! Let me start by saying I started by HATING the thought of Brown rice...man i was wrong i bought a particular kind and will never try any other..I love it
Day 1 of Detox:
Began and I must say I was nervous and had butterflies in my stomach all morning. But it turned out to be ok except for the fact that the "Protein" Shake I had to drink was like ...well i will spare you the details let's just say it a drink of it went down and right back up....
I was able to have a little dairy that day and i had all of it I was able to and enjoyed it. Things I took for granted I was enjoying. Like 4 oz of my cottage cheese in a cup ...it was the best 4 oz of food I had ever had! I enjoyed it sooooo much more than I ever had in my life. The slice of cheese I had I cut it up into 10 little pieces and those were by far the best 10 lil pieces of heaven I have ever had! I had a great Lentil soup recipe that night...it was rich and full of flavor. Tae (our youngest) even like it. I DID have a headache in the evening, went ot bed early.
Day 2 of Detox:
Nervous bcs my dairy would now be gone and now I was in full out Vegetarian world and frankly that freaked me out. On this day my mom had to come and coach me in drinking this Protein shake. It was truly a pathetic sight. Here I am a grown woman of 3 and I was there in front of my mom pinching my nose breathing out and tryin to gulp down this junk and it was awful. I almost lost it but had to keep with it. 80z never seemed so overwhelming in all my life. Got thru it but with no grace!
Day of eating was good and I came across an awesome new dinner suggestion..Brwon rice, sautéed mixed veggies and salad YUMMMMM. I DID have a headache in the evening, went ot bed early.
Day 3 of Detox:
No worries no concerns....all is well. I have not taken the yunk drink since day 2 and probably wont. I am doing great and feel awesome. On this day i remember the joys of JUCING. I make me and the kids a homemade fruit juice full of any and every fruit adn veggie we want. When I drink this in the AM I can get through for a while on this. So this day i kept my self busy and productive. i did notice a hieghtened since of smell. for example my mom had given my son a small baggie of baked crackers and a small sandwhich...I could smell the cheese on the cracker, the colby jack on the sandwich even the MAYO on the bread. it was so intense (in a good way). I also on this day notice and intense sense of taste. Strawberries tasted juicer & sweeter. Grapes tasted fleshier and intense with sweetness. So needless to say that when it came time for me to have my salad with lettuce, almonds, sunflowerseeds, cucumber, red bell pepper, celery, carrots, avacado & celantro they was no need for dressign bcs those flovors were so intense it was devine! No heachache that night.
Day 4 of Detox:
Well I feel so much less bloated, more focused, a sense of calmness and food wise i feel satisfied. now days 5,6, & 7 will be the hardest ones bcs on those days my brown rice and any beans are out so it is really only fruits and veggies so plesae pray for me!
So thanks for reading and i welcome any comments.
Mel
Saturday, September 25, 2010
9/24/10 ~ Did I do that?
Yes I did. I finally got off my tush and did somthing, but not just any something a big something ...for me at least.
About 9pm ish tonight I got this burst of energy and just wanted to go for a run. I have been avoiding this since the very day of my last entry. It was an emotional one and one I have carried with me till tonight.
I can honestly say that as far as my running goes I have been in a depressed state. I had been working my buns off for at least 8 mos. and to go back and fourth only 7 lbs was the final straw for me. I gave up, thru in the down said to hell with it all......I was in a bad place and one I have never been in before.
I have spent this last several mos. sulking, mending my damaged ego, gaining back the 7 + some.
The passion to run was there but it was .....like nothing I have ever experienced. Have you ever fallen really bad off a bike or a horse or tried to learn a cheer or dance routine and just culd not get it? Well the very thought of going near that "thing" you failed at would just freak you out huh? And so you avoid it like the pleague. That is what I have done.
I have not only not run or walked I have not even so much as put on a pair of tennis shoes since the last time I blogged....(except to mow the lawn ONCE).
For some reason I was taking this soooooo stinking hard, it is like I was tramatized...I know sounds so dumb but it is the truth.
ANYwho fast forward to today. I have formed a team for the second year in a row to run/walk at the 20th annual Susan G Komen Race for the Cure. We set a pledge and met it...I was so busy organizing the team, going over the shirt order, thinking about how we would get there, where to park that I completely avoided one little thing....RUNNING.
At the begining of this week I decided to do a few things differently. I get up each morning get dressed with jewelry and all, put on a full face of makeup (bcs I love makeup and love to feel and look pretty), put on perfume and fix my hair. I dont normally do this as I am a stay home mom. But I swear to you i have felt soooooo differnt all this week. More alive, prettier, even more energy. I also stopped taking naps and go to bed earlier. All this I think helped me get to the point tonight that I have been needing to get to.
So at about 9ish I got dressed and started for the treadmill. I did the best I could and only planned on doing 1 mile. I felt great and I am so glad that I did. I really felt like a wight (no pun intended) was lifted of my mind. I felt great!
So i hope to say i am back but I will take it one day at a time. Below is what my numbers are.
Till Next Time
Keep Runnin
Melissa
Distance: 1.33 miles.
Time: 20 minutes and 0 seconds.
Pace: 15:01 per mile.
Date: Friday 24/09/10 @ 09:44pm
About 9pm ish tonight I got this burst of energy and just wanted to go for a run. I have been avoiding this since the very day of my last entry. It was an emotional one and one I have carried with me till tonight.
I can honestly say that as far as my running goes I have been in a depressed state. I had been working my buns off for at least 8 mos. and to go back and fourth only 7 lbs was the final straw for me. I gave up, thru in the down said to hell with it all......I was in a bad place and one I have never been in before.
I have spent this last several mos. sulking, mending my damaged ego, gaining back the 7 + some.
The passion to run was there but it was .....like nothing I have ever experienced. Have you ever fallen really bad off a bike or a horse or tried to learn a cheer or dance routine and just culd not get it? Well the very thought of going near that "thing" you failed at would just freak you out huh? And so you avoid it like the pleague. That is what I have done.
I have not only not run or walked I have not even so much as put on a pair of tennis shoes since the last time I blogged....(except to mow the lawn ONCE).
For some reason I was taking this soooooo stinking hard, it is like I was tramatized...I know sounds so dumb but it is the truth.
ANYwho fast forward to today. I have formed a team for the second year in a row to run/walk at the 20th annual Susan G Komen Race for the Cure. We set a pledge and met it...I was so busy organizing the team, going over the shirt order, thinking about how we would get there, where to park that I completely avoided one little thing....RUNNING.
At the begining of this week I decided to do a few things differently. I get up each morning get dressed with jewelry and all, put on a full face of makeup (bcs I love makeup and love to feel and look pretty), put on perfume and fix my hair. I dont normally do this as I am a stay home mom. But I swear to you i have felt soooooo differnt all this week. More alive, prettier, even more energy. I also stopped taking naps and go to bed earlier. All this I think helped me get to the point tonight that I have been needing to get to.
So at about 9ish I got dressed and started for the treadmill. I did the best I could and only planned on doing 1 mile. I felt great and I am so glad that I did. I really felt like a wight (no pun intended) was lifted of my mind. I felt great!
So i hope to say i am back but I will take it one day at a time. Below is what my numbers are.
Till Next Time
Keep Runnin
Melissa
Distance: 1.33 miles.
Time: 20 minutes and 0 seconds.
Pace: 15:01 per mile.
Date: Friday 24/09/10 @ 09:44pm
Thursday, August 26, 2010
8/25/10 BIG Love Cancer Care
Did you know for as little as $50 you could be a "Joy Sponsor" at BIG Loves 3rd annual fun run? You will get your name on the 3rd annual custom made run shirt, 2 paid run registrations, 2 event shirts and other oppurtunities..go to the link to sponsor today.
http://www.biglovecancercare.org/
http://www.biglovecancercare.org/
Saturday, May 29, 2010
5/29/10 Now THAT'S a Coooool Feeling...........
Note: Years ago we had this radio station (104 KRBE) and there was this DJ named Psycho Robby and each day (I think) we would come on and read these "Cool Feelings" they were hysterical. People would call in and comment and how they too had those cool feelings. Now not everyone can relate to all Cool Feelings (and they are not all bad) but most people could IMAGINE how the person in the Cool feeling would feel.
In the Late 90's Alanis Morsette came out with well basically a song of "Cool Feelings" it was called "Ironic" you know "Like a free ride when you’re already there..or Rain on your wedding day..or having spoons when all you need is a knife"
Went with a friend to the "Houston Astros: 5k Race for the Pennant Race". Here are my Cool feeling for the day!
1.) Running a race without training for 2 weeks prior to...Hear the start horn, turn the 1st coroner and see the 1st of 4 INCLINING BRIDGES...Now THATS a Cool Feeling!
I swear to you tears came to my eyes in that instant....I was like "What the HECK I did not read about this in the brochure" I was looking around and seeing if my fellow Newbie runners in the back were thinking the same thing! I did the best I could to run up every bridge. Here I was back in April and worried about running in hill country and it was a breeze, I come here and was freakin out. We made it though!
2.) Being mistaken for some bodies "Mommy/Wife" by the HUSBAND...Now THATS a Cool Feeling!
Now what makes this one so wow is... It was the last .2 miles or so, I am running on the inside closest to the curb and there are people all along there cheering us on. Mainly it is family that has been there to cheer on Sons, Daughters, Dads or MOMS.
So I look up and there is this guy holding his baby (about 7 mos old) and he is telling the baby "Look baby there is mommy..say Yea mommy good job..." He was really loud and really waving that baby in your face he kept on and on...The problem was he was looking dead at ME! He locks in on me (I had sunglasses on so you couldn’t see me NOT locking eyes on him).
The closer I got the louder he got. I thought well surely the mom is behind me....Once I run in front of him I say hi and I HEAR him say 9to the baby mind you) "HEY that's NOT MOMMY I don’t know who that is!...oooooo Wait baby THERE is mommy YEA MOMMY COME ON MOMMY!"
I turn around a see my TWIN! She was 3 inches shorter, a bit rounder, and had dark hair with ton o bleach'in going on AND she wore a black, gray and white outfit...so clearly I could see how we could get mistaken...Can you see the sarcasm?
I thought "Dude don’t you sleep with this woman and know what she looks like?"
3.) Seeing the manager from "On The Run in Pearland,Tx NOT for me" Blog I wrote last month...Now that's a Cool Feeling!
Wow! Crystal and I were driving around looking for a parking space and low and behold who do I see? Mister..."Yeah my ex girlfrinend us eot complain about everything too!" I was floored. Well at the end of the race as me and the blue hairs (old ladies) were finishing up the race he and a groupd of "Elites" were running the course a second or third time to show offf I MEAN cool down...he looked right at me and kinda smiled I felt WIERRRRD. But oh well why should i feel wierd? (to really get this cool feeling go back and read that blog then you will see why) As a great man once said "Thats all I gotta say about that!"
4.) Finishing Time being about 15 mins BETTER than you thought....Now THATS a Cooool Feeling!
So as I mentioned earlier on I had not run for 2 weeks..I have been going through stuff. So I knew that this was going to be an embarrasing run to have to post. But i had already bought the entery MOS ago and I knew I had to come back and post so I WAS GONNA RUN this.
Now Given no training, 4 HUGE BRIDGES, and HEAT like no other to date for me during a run I just knew that I was dead meat.
Heat: Let me tell ya about this a minute. We started at 7:45 Am SHARP (now i know to avoid this intense thick heat). I promise you it was a muggy 85+ degrees out there today. Given all the wierd medical stuff that has gone on in the news with celebs and with some people I know all i could do was seriously pray "God please dont let me die up here on bridge #2, Help me get through bridge #3 oh yeah and let me make it passed bridge #4!" It was freakin HOT.
So with all that coming into play i just knew i would be running a 60 min + run..I had not done that yet and frankly that is embarassing. As I ran past the crazy "There's mommy guy and baby" I came down the tunnel into Minute Maid park i saw the count down clock and it wa in the negatives SERIOUSLY! That was it i knew I had run a 78 min 5k. I didnt even bother to check my time till we left.
Once I did check it i saw i ran it in 46:55 not to shabby I added 5 mins from the last race but it was all good and hey I was ALIVE! Now THATS a Cool Feeling!
Till Next time...
Keep runnin,
Melissa
In the Late 90's Alanis Morsette came out with well basically a song of "Cool Feelings" it was called "Ironic" you know "Like a free ride when you’re already there..or Rain on your wedding day..or having spoons when all you need is a knife"
Went with a friend to the "Houston Astros: 5k Race for the Pennant Race". Here are my Cool feeling for the day!
1.) Running a race without training for 2 weeks prior to...Hear the start horn, turn the 1st coroner and see the 1st of 4 INCLINING BRIDGES...Now THATS a Cool Feeling!
I swear to you tears came to my eyes in that instant....I was like "What the HECK I did not read about this in the brochure" I was looking around and seeing if my fellow Newbie runners in the back were thinking the same thing! I did the best I could to run up every bridge. Here I was back in April and worried about running in hill country and it was a breeze, I come here and was freakin out. We made it though!
2.) Being mistaken for some bodies "Mommy/Wife" by the HUSBAND...Now THATS a Cool Feeling!
Now what makes this one so wow is... It was the last .2 miles or so, I am running on the inside closest to the curb and there are people all along there cheering us on. Mainly it is family that has been there to cheer on Sons, Daughters, Dads or MOMS.
So I look up and there is this guy holding his baby (about 7 mos old) and he is telling the baby "Look baby there is mommy..say Yea mommy good job..." He was really loud and really waving that baby in your face he kept on and on...The problem was he was looking dead at ME! He locks in on me (I had sunglasses on so you couldn’t see me NOT locking eyes on him).
The closer I got the louder he got. I thought well surely the mom is behind me....Once I run in front of him I say hi and I HEAR him say 9to the baby mind you) "HEY that's NOT MOMMY I don’t know who that is!...oooooo Wait baby THERE is mommy YEA MOMMY COME ON MOMMY!"
I turn around a see my TWIN! She was 3 inches shorter, a bit rounder, and had dark hair with ton o bleach'in going on AND she wore a black, gray and white outfit...so clearly I could see how we could get mistaken...Can you see the sarcasm?
I thought "Dude don’t you sleep with this woman and know what she looks like?"
3.) Seeing the manager from "On The Run in Pearland,Tx NOT for me" Blog I wrote last month...Now that's a Cool Feeling!
Wow! Crystal and I were driving around looking for a parking space and low and behold who do I see? Mister..."Yeah my ex girlfrinend us eot complain about everything too!" I was floored. Well at the end of the race as me and the blue hairs (old ladies) were finishing up the race he and a groupd of "Elites" were running the course a second or third time to show offf I MEAN cool down...he looked right at me and kinda smiled I felt WIERRRRD. But oh well why should i feel wierd? (to really get this cool feeling go back and read that blog then you will see why) As a great man once said "Thats all I gotta say about that!"
4.) Finishing Time being about 15 mins BETTER than you thought....Now THATS a Cooool Feeling!
So as I mentioned earlier on I had not run for 2 weeks..I have been going through stuff. So I knew that this was going to be an embarrasing run to have to post. But i had already bought the entery MOS ago and I knew I had to come back and post so I WAS GONNA RUN this.
Now Given no training, 4 HUGE BRIDGES, and HEAT like no other to date for me during a run I just knew that I was dead meat.
Heat: Let me tell ya about this a minute. We started at 7:45 Am SHARP (now i know to avoid this intense thick heat). I promise you it was a muggy 85+ degrees out there today. Given all the wierd medical stuff that has gone on in the news with celebs and with some people I know all i could do was seriously pray "God please dont let me die up here on bridge #2, Help me get through bridge #3 oh yeah and let me make it passed bridge #4!" It was freakin HOT.
So with all that coming into play i just knew i would be running a 60 min + run..I had not done that yet and frankly that is embarassing. As I ran past the crazy "There's mommy guy and baby" I came down the tunnel into Minute Maid park i saw the count down clock and it wa in the negatives SERIOUSLY! That was it i knew I had run a 78 min 5k. I didnt even bother to check my time till we left.
Once I did check it i saw i ran it in 46:55 not to shabby I added 5 mins from the last race but it was all good and hey I was ALIVE! Now THATS a Cool Feeling!
Till Next time...
Keep runnin,
Melissa
Monday, May 17, 2010
5/17/10 I promised the Good the Bad & the Ugly..This is UGLY
Well the title says it all. I really don’t know where to start so I will just jump right on it......
Ok so truth be known I started this journey to be a "real runner" and be in better shape in August 2009. I half knew that it was not going to be an easy or quick ride, but that other half if me thought somehow I would get thru it with a strength that I THOUGHT I had inside...Now let’s face it I am a BIG girl so these halves are pretty big! Well today I feel like that "Strength" is well watered down to say the least. This is a small portion of the email I sent to Killer tonight......Excuse the "flowery" language as a friend says. You have to know that this is coming from a very hurting part of me right now.
...."that being said honestly if that had not come up I don’t know that I would want to come (to tomorrow night’s PTS) anyways.
I am so flippin ticked beyond belief. I am completely depressed & ticked off about this while weight thing. I have basically busted my butt for 8 months & have gone back & forth only 7 lbs if that!
AND to make things worse I have gained all but 2 back…don’t give me that line of bull about muscle weighing more than fat that would be true if I had muscle like Arnold the terminator but not this. I have ran, worked out, eaten better, drank water till I was blue in the freakin face I am just plain pissed. I feel like my wind is running out and I just wanna cry or hit something...."
And well peeps that is it in a nut shell. I have tried to keep a happy face and tell myself.."ey self it has taken along tome to get here it will take a long time to get back" or "This is your fault for all this be kind to yourself now and work extra hard to get what you are wanting" regardless of this or any other self talk true or not I am at a low right now.
I know we are not to compare ourselves to others BUT I can’t help but thing of 2 people in particular...who had my same story and by this time into their journey they had lost anywhere’s from 25-45 lbs. and me???? 7 whole stinkin retarded dumb lbs...heck that is nothing.....I know I know some of you happy hold outs might say "Come on that is 7 less lbs than you had in the beginning" or "well you have to start somewhere" and to those I wanna say "REALLY that is the best you got?" I am steadily losing what stinkin 25 ounces a day and this is what you got....worse yet this is the best I GOT!!!!!!!
I mean for the past several mos. I have been telling myself that I can do this and that one day in the future I will see the rewards of my efforts but all I see are those stupid idiotic numbers going back and forth between the highest numbers I have seen to date!
What am I doing wrong? Why am I here in this horrible place again? How much more can I ask of my body, my mind hell my family to endure? I take and take and take all this time for myself to work on being healthy and to work on what I think will help me accomplish my goals toward being a better me and a "real runner" but the only running I am doing is CIRCLES around this same ole place I have been for years!
don’t get me wrong I KNOW there are bigger more important issues people deal with in the world...But my world is here in my head and in my heart this is what my reality is right now. This is HUGE to me...THIS is ME.....
I just can’t understand what else I can do at this point...I want to EAT I want to eat to find that comatose place that will take me away from feeling what I am feeling now. I want eat so I can feel that feeling of relief that I get from eating...I want eat bcs that has always been what has helped me to escape....
In a last ditch effort I am going to a specialist on the 28th of this month and have a full blood panel done to see if there is anything else that could be going on. That is my last real chance at trying to find out why this weight will not come off. It should not be this hard! It should not be this devastating to a person’s soul to just be normal and be happy and be healthy!
I hate to be one of those "Fluffy people" who just flippantly say "Oh I have a thyroid problem" as they stuff Oreo’s down their throats....but I am beginning to think that maybe that could be a real issue for me. I hate feeling like this...I hate feeling so depressed...I hate feeling so anger...I hate feeling like I am less than I am as I stand around in this fat suit as the real me feels like she's suffocating inside....
So I promised to always keep it real with ya.."how you like them apples?" As I write this I cry because I know how pathetic this all sounds, how so many people will not understand these feelings I have just typed and how they may write some ugly comments...to those people just keep going, don’t judge me, TRUST me there is NOTHING You can say that I have not already said to myself there is nothing you can say that will hurt me more than my own words or thoughts have so enjoy the fact that you have never felt this!
Ok so truth be known I started this journey to be a "real runner" and be in better shape in August 2009. I half knew that it was not going to be an easy or quick ride, but that other half if me thought somehow I would get thru it with a strength that I THOUGHT I had inside...Now let’s face it I am a BIG girl so these halves are pretty big! Well today I feel like that "Strength" is well watered down to say the least. This is a small portion of the email I sent to Killer tonight......Excuse the "flowery" language as a friend says. You have to know that this is coming from a very hurting part of me right now.
...."that being said honestly if that had not come up I don’t know that I would want to come (to tomorrow night’s PTS) anyways.
I am so flippin ticked beyond belief. I am completely depressed & ticked off about this while weight thing. I have basically busted my butt for 8 months & have gone back & forth only 7 lbs if that!
AND to make things worse I have gained all but 2 back…don’t give me that line of bull about muscle weighing more than fat that would be true if I had muscle like Arnold the terminator but not this. I have ran, worked out, eaten better, drank water till I was blue in the freakin face I am just plain pissed. I feel like my wind is running out and I just wanna cry or hit something...."
And well peeps that is it in a nut shell. I have tried to keep a happy face and tell myself.."ey self it has taken along tome to get here it will take a long time to get back" or "This is your fault for all this be kind to yourself now and work extra hard to get what you are wanting" regardless of this or any other self talk true or not I am at a low right now.
I know we are not to compare ourselves to others BUT I can’t help but thing of 2 people in particular...who had my same story and by this time into their journey they had lost anywhere’s from 25-45 lbs. and me???? 7 whole stinkin retarded dumb lbs...heck that is nothing.....I know I know some of you happy hold outs might say "Come on that is 7 less lbs than you had in the beginning" or "well you have to start somewhere" and to those I wanna say "REALLY that is the best you got?" I am steadily losing what stinkin 25 ounces a day and this is what you got....worse yet this is the best I GOT!!!!!!!
I mean for the past several mos. I have been telling myself that I can do this and that one day in the future I will see the rewards of my efforts but all I see are those stupid idiotic numbers going back and forth between the highest numbers I have seen to date!
What am I doing wrong? Why am I here in this horrible place again? How much more can I ask of my body, my mind hell my family to endure? I take and take and take all this time for myself to work on being healthy and to work on what I think will help me accomplish my goals toward being a better me and a "real runner" but the only running I am doing is CIRCLES around this same ole place I have been for years!
don’t get me wrong I KNOW there are bigger more important issues people deal with in the world...But my world is here in my head and in my heart this is what my reality is right now. This is HUGE to me...THIS is ME.....
I just can’t understand what else I can do at this point...I want to EAT I want to eat to find that comatose place that will take me away from feeling what I am feeling now. I want eat so I can feel that feeling of relief that I get from eating...I want eat bcs that has always been what has helped me to escape....
In a last ditch effort I am going to a specialist on the 28th of this month and have a full blood panel done to see if there is anything else that could be going on. That is my last real chance at trying to find out why this weight will not come off. It should not be this hard! It should not be this devastating to a person’s soul to just be normal and be happy and be healthy!
I hate to be one of those "Fluffy people" who just flippantly say "Oh I have a thyroid problem" as they stuff Oreo’s down their throats....but I am beginning to think that maybe that could be a real issue for me. I hate feeling like this...I hate feeling so depressed...I hate feeling so anger...I hate feeling like I am less than I am as I stand around in this fat suit as the real me feels like she's suffocating inside....
So I promised to always keep it real with ya.."how you like them apples?" As I write this I cry because I know how pathetic this all sounds, how so many people will not understand these feelings I have just typed and how they may write some ugly comments...to those people just keep going, don’t judge me, TRUST me there is NOTHING You can say that I have not already said to myself there is nothing you can say that will hurt me more than my own words or thoughts have so enjoy the fact that you have never felt this!
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